


Your Own Worst Enemy

by Mellowphant



Series: An Experiment [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Underfell (Undertale), Angst, F/M, Flirting, Fluff, Jealousy, One Shot, Reader-Insert, Underfell Sans (Undertale)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-20
Updated: 2019-05-01
Packaged: 2019-10-13 03:35:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 17,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17480384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mellowphant/pseuds/Mellowphant
Summary: A few snapshots of the complicated relationship between you, your ex, and an alternate version of him.





	1. A Breakup

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [I Shouldn't Have Let Go (If I Realized I Loved You Sooner)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17094536) by [TheFearlessArmy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheFearlessArmy/pseuds/TheFearlessArmy). 



> So yeah, I wrote this in like December shortly after reading TheFearlessArmy's fic. It just inspired me to write some angst scenes so I did! They've been sitting on my computer for a while now so I'm just gonna post them! It says it's gonna be 3 chapters because I have 3 separate scenes written so that's that! Comments and criticisms welcome!
> 
> EDIT: Anyone reading this now knows that I ended up writing more than 3 chapters. I didn't expect anyone to be interested in reading this so I had initially planned to leave it unfinished. Obviously that changed. Anyway, happy reading!

The cup of tea warms your fingertips, the steam twisting up like ribbons before dissipating in the air. It’s nice. Your favorite, in fact. Normally, you’d be enjoying it, savoring every golden sip as you take in the scene of the coffee shop around you. But you can’t focus right now. Not with your boyfriend sitting across from you, refusing to meet your eyes.  

He’s been distant. Uninvolved. Detached. If you didn’t know better, you’d assume it was part of his elusive personality. But _do_ you know better. You know the difference between his real smile and the easy-going one he puts on when he’s hiding something. When he asked you here, you had a bad feeling. When his hand stayed in his pockets instead of wrapping around yours, you felt alone. And now, when he averts your gaze, staring into the abyss of his black coffee, you know something’s wrong. 

“hey, kid. i think it’s time we had a talk.” He doesn’t call you that unless it’s serious. You feel a weight in your chest. 

Your voice comes out steady, despite your heartbeat ringing in your ears. “Oh, yeah? About what?”

He makes a vague gesture with his hand between the two of you. “about this. it’s uh... it’s not working.”

You feel your stomach bottom out. Even if you had been expecting it, the confirmation still sends a stabbing pain through your chest. 

“I know.” You can feel it coming, the edges of your eyes prickling with tears. You don’t want to cry, though. Not here. Not in front of him. 

“yeah?” The tone of surprise in his voice is almost enough to make you look up. Almost. “so, i guess we’re on the same page then.”

You can only nod in response. You don’t want a boyfriend who doesn’t want to be with you. The distance and general apathy hurt, and if he hadn’t said anything, you probably would’ve been the one to end it. You still can’t look at him though. Even with every nerve in your body screaming at you to do something, say something, you can’t. 

“alright.” You can hear the sound of bone scraping against bone. He must be rubbing the back of his skull. It’s a nervous habit of his. “look, if you wanna talk about it or something, just let me know and i’ll... uh... i’ll do my best to answer any questions.”

 

You don’t say anything.

 

* * *

 

It’s going well — almost too well, he thinks — but you still haven’t said much. You always say something, even if it’s just a thoughtful noise in the back of your throat to show you’re listening. But there’s nothing now. Just silence as you avoid his eyes and sip your tea.

“I think...” your voice wavers slightly and you clear your throat. “I understand. It’s ok.” It doesn’t sound ok, but your face isn’t giving anything away. 

He moves to pat your arm in a comforting gesture, but you quickly stand up, moving out of his reach.

“This tea needs more honey. I’ll be right back.” 

He puts on his easy smile and does his best not to look hurt. He knows that things are going to be different. He knew that when he asked you to meet him here. But knowing and experiencing are two different things.

He watches you walk up to the counter and give a small wave to the man behind it. The man says something and you offer a weak smile in return. Sans doesn’t miss the way the man squeezes your fingers as he passes you some packets of honey. He doesn’t miss the way you hold on to them entirely too long, or the comforting smile the man gives you when you finally let go. 

He tries to shake the feelings gnawing in the pit of his nonexistent stomach. He was never jealous before, now’s not a great time to start. You’re not his. He wants you to move on, right?

When you sit back down, it’s quiet again. You stir in a packet of honey and take a few tentative sips.

“is that better?”

“Yeah. Closer to how I like it, anyway.”

You finish your drink in silence. 

When you stand up to leave, he’s both relieved and a little saddened. Relieved because all things considered, you took it like a champ. There was no bargaining, no crying, or screaming. Your voice broke only once and you quickly recovered. It’s good. He wouldn’t have been able to take it if you had done any of that other stuff.

Still, there’s a feeling in the back of his soul that he just can’t ignore. You didn’t even say anything. Were things between you two really that bad? You didn’t even sound surprised when he told you. Maybe that’s better…

“do you want me to take you home?” His voice feels foreign when it breaks the silence. 

“No, I think I should just go.”

He tries to get a read on your soul, but you have it completely blocked off. That’s to be expected though, right? You aren’t together anymore. Of course you’re not going to be so open. He shoves his hands in his pockets and tries not to think about it.

“sounds good.”

“Bye, Sans.”

You don’t even wait for a response before you turn and walk away. The wind picks up your coat and blows your hair across your face, but you keep walking.

He waits until you’re out of sight to shortcut home.

 

You didn’t look back.

 

* * *

 

The springs of his mattress creak as he throws himself on it. He stays there staring at the ceiling for a few minutes, waiting for the sheets and pillows to swallow him whole. Thoughts swim around his skull, bouncing back and forth as he tries to get more meaning out of them.

The way you stood up when he went to touch your arm keeps replaying. Sure, there won’t be any more kisses. No more sex. He prepared himself for that. It’s the other stuff. The casual contact, the way he’d lean against you when you watched a movie, the way your leg would brush up against his knee, those things are gone. He can’t touch you like that anymore.

He did the right thing, though. He didn’t love you, and dragging it out any longer would’ve been cruel to the both of you. You had to know that, right? Why else would you have acted so calm?

_~~Maybe you didn’t love him either~~ _ ~~.~~

His thoughts are interrupted by the sound of the front door opening, a greeting, and his brothers excited voice.

_*pap must’ve invited a friend over._

Maybe he should go downstairs and say hello? Nah, he’s exhausted as is. The best thing to do is to lie in bed and think about the machine, maybe even take a nap. He just needs a book from the hallway to reference. Standing up requires more energy than he’d like to expend right now, but he manages to pull himself up and over to his door. When he steps into the hallway, he’s surprised to come face to face with you.

 _*why are you here_?

He doesn’t ask out loud, but you answer anyway.

“P-puzzle night with Pap. We’ve been doing it for a while and I didn’t want to cancel.”

 _*oh. right._  

“Excuse me.” You move past him to the bookshelf on the wall, scanning the spines with your finger. It’s the first time he’s seen you since… You look good. Not too broken up about it that you couldn’t come here, anyway. It hasn’t been that long, a few days at most, but maybe you’re already over it?

You pluck a book off the shelf and thumb through the table of contents. Maybe you needed help looking for something? He could–

“ACTUALLY, HUMAN, I FOUND THE BOOK I WAS LOOKING FOR! IT WAS IN HERE THE WHOLE TIME!”

“heh, i suppose you could say you found it all by your _shelf_.”

From the other room, Sans can hear his brother groaning. 

“THAT WAS… UNFORTUNATELY GOOD.”

Making his brother smile always makes everything a little better. He turns to look at you but you quickly brush past him, the door of Papyrus’s bedroom closing in your wake. You used to love his puns.

_*used to. things are different now._

Maybe it’s too much to hope that the two of you could be friends someday. Back before you two were together, before the dating, before the expectations… things were perfect. You’d come over for movie Mondays and squish between them on the sofa. He’d do commentary on the movie, Paps would tell him his jokes were bad, and you’d moderate the debate by keeping score. It was a good dynamic the three of you had, but he ruined it when he kissed you. If he could take anything back, it’d be that.

The sound of his brother’s voice from the next room brings him back to reality.

“THERE ARE SO MANY GOOD CHOICES… I KNOW! WHY DON’T WE START WITH–… H-HUMAN? ARE YOU ALRIGHT?”

What’s wrong? Did something happen?

“DO YOU WANT ME TO GET SANS OR…?”

He feels his soul skip in his chest. 

When the door to his brother’s room opens a minute or two later, it almost makes him jump.

“WE’RE… UH… GOING OUT.”

You follow his brother down the stairs and out the front door. There’s no goodbye or even a “see ya later.” It sucks. Breakups suck.


	2. Cousins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You get milkshake, meet someone new, and run into someone else

When you come upon the familiar neon sign of Grillby’s, you have half a mind to turn around and get your shake from the machine in the gas station instead. You’ve been avoiding this ever since that breakup, but it’s been a long week. You’ve _earned_ this. After finishing projects, meeting deadlines, and running glorified fetch-quests for your boss, you deserve a milkshake at one of the best bars in town. You won’t let something silly like running into someone ruin your perfectly good evening.

With a new-found confidence, you push the door open and let the warm air rush over you. It looks exactly the same as the last time you were in here. _When was that? A year or two ago?_ The cozy orange booths beckon to you, but you pass them in favor for the bar. You’re not looking to get too comfortable, just finish your drink and leave. You take a seat on one of the stools, your reflection staring back at you through the perfectly polished wood. 

“Hey, Grillby.” The fire elemental behind the bar almost drops the glass he’s holding at the sound of your voice. “Yeah, I know. It’s been a while…”

He peers at you over the wire frame of his glasses, presumably raising an eyebrow at you. You used to be a pro at reading his facial expressions, but you’re a little out of practice.

“Sorry, it’s just that after… all of that… I didn’t want to run into him, you know?" 

“…”

“Yeah, yeah, I know it’s a bad excuse. I did miss you though! No one makes burgers quite like you do.”

That seems to placate him for now as he sets the glass down and pulls out a pad of paper.

“I’ll take a Cookies N’ Cream. Spiked, please.”

“… Your special…”

“Is that what it’s called now?”

His flames crackle into a crooked smile. “… Not officially… no…”

You can’t help but smile back. You’ve always had a bit of a sweet tooth. Despite your extensive research, you haven’t been able to find anyone else that seems to get their alcoholic milkshakes just right. Grillby has a way of making them feel warm, even against the cold of the ice cream. They’re sweet, but with the perfect amount of kick. You only ordered them on special occasions. Today isn’t special, but after a week like this, you needed something good.

“That’ll be all for me then, Grillbz.” 

He gives a single nod and turns to leave for the kitchen. After a moment of hesitation, he turns to look back at you. “… It’s good… to see you… again…”

“You too, man.”

Your fingers drum rhythms into the counter as you scan the bar. The guard dogs are in their usual spots, pilling up treats instead of poker chips. You had tried to join them once, but the rules they used were unfamiliar and you were out within the first round. If you were playing with money, you might’ve felt bad about losing so badly, but the peanut butter bone you had to give to Doggo didn’t mean all that much to you. The rest of the bar is filled with the usual crowd, save for one person. You let out a relieved sigh.

_Good. There’s nothing to worry about and I can finish my drink in peace._

Speaking of which, Grillby slides the glass across the counter to you, the top almost overflowing with whipped cream and chocolate sauce.

“Did you give me extra toppings?”

He gives you a shy smile followed by a shrug. “… Perhaps…”

You flash him a playful grin and scoop a bit of whipped cream off the top with your finger, plopping it on your tongue with a satisfied hum. “You’re too good to me.”

His flames crackle a little louder in what you know to be a laugh. “… Excuse me… enjoy… your shake…” He walks down to the other end of the bar, presumably to take an order, and you take the opportunity to do just that. 

It’s heavenly.

Your eyes wander down the bar only to stop a few seats down. Is that? No, it can’t be. The clothes are all wrong. The monster you knew never took off that blue hoodie of his. One time Queen Toriel held a big dinner for monster and human relations, making it _extremely_ explicit that you were supposed to dress up. He showed up in some button-down shirt and slacks, complete with his hoodie on top.

_“what? i’m dressed up. look, i’m even wearing a bone tie”_

This monster is wearing a jacket too, but it’s black and red with a fur trim around the hood. Sans wouldn’t wear something like that. But they look like a skeleton, though… Could it be–?

All of the sudden, the monster turns to look at you, red eyelights piercing through you, straight to your soul.

“hey, sweetheart. see somethin’ ya like?”

If the rough voice doesn’t give it away, one look at him certainly does. This monster isn’t Sans. Sure, there are some similarities – the bone structure, approximate stature, the fact that he’s a skeleton – but it’s not him. That much is clear. His skull has a few nicks and scars here and there, but the thing you’re immediately drawn to is his smile. It looks dangerous, full of teeth pointed like a shark’s. A single golden canine catches the light, glittering in the dim light of the bar. It’s intimidating, but breathtaking in its own way. A raised brow bone reminds you that he’s still waiting for an answer.

“S-sorry I thought you were someone else.”

His sharp grin falters immediately and he sighs, taking a long swig of the drink in front of him. “let me guess, you’re a friend of _sans_ …” He says the name like it’s poison in his mouth, practically spitting it through his teeth. “i can’t go anywhere without that fucker breathin’ down my neck! an’ when i finally get out and get some time to myself, everybody’s comin’ up to me an’ talkin’ about him. they’re all ‘ _ooh! do you know sans? he’s sooo funny! are you related or something? you look a lot like him!’_ ’s a fuckin’ nightmare…”

You know what _that’s_ like. After the breakup, you could hardly go anywhere without someone asking about him. When is he performing standup next? Is he planning to go to some party this weekend? _How are the two of you doing?_ That last one always stung, even after you had mostly moved on.

You stir your milkshake with the straw, licking off the excess whipped cream before putting it back in. “Yeah, I wouldn’t worry about it. He’s not all he’s cracked up to be.”

The skeleton nearly spits out his drink. 

Did that sound bitter? You didn’t really mean for it to…

“heh ya know, i think you’re the first person i’ve met here who doesn’t think the sun shines out of his ass.” 

You snort. “He doesn’t even _have_ an ass.”

He stares at you, closely scanning your face. His straight face barely lasts another second though before he snorts with laughter.

“heh, that was good, sweetheart. whatcha drinkin’? i’ll buy ya another.” 

He signals over for Grillby, but you shake your head when he asks for your order. “I only came here for this bad boy. I’m not really looking to have much more.”

He shrugs and orders another one for himself.

“So, people think you look like Sans? I mean, I _sort of_ see it… but you don’t look that much like him.”

He perks up at that, turning to face you with a new-found curiosity. “oh yeah? an’ how’s that, sweetheart”

“Well for starters, you’re _much_ better looking.” 

His eyelights widen in shock for a moment before he bursts out in laugher. It takes him a while before he can speak again, his words broken up by quick breaths. “haahh, how much is ‘m-much better’? hahaha!”

 _Oh stars, no_. This is why you don’t drink very often. You groan and angle yourself away from him, praying that the ground suddenly opens up and swallows you whole.

“aw come on, don’t hide your face like that! the red’s a good color on you!” His voice is friendly and playful, but you’re still not over the fact that you said that to a stranger. After some more prodding, you manage to peel your hands from your face, still barely able to look him in the eye.

“so ya said ‘for starters’, what else is different about me?”

You groan, ready to hide again, but his smile stops you. It looks so much nicer now, more genuine maybe? Whatever it is, you feel comfortable to entertain his request for a while.

“I can’t be sure since you’re sitting down, but you seem taller, too.” 

“hell yeah, i am!” he booms, slamming his fist down on the bar. “i’m older too.”

“By how much?” 

“one day.”

You barely manage to restrain the giggle that erupts from your lips. 

“hey! don’t gimmie that look! ‘s an accomplishment!” 

“You’re unbelievable.” You roll your eyes in feigned annoyance, but you’re sure he sees right through it. “Ok so let me get this straight, you’re older, taller–“

“don’t forget ‘much better looking’.” 

You drag your hands down your face, muffling a groan. “I can’t believe I said that! I don’t even know your name!” 

“we can fix that, sweetheart!” He says warmly, slamming his glass down with a hearty laugh. “my friends call me red, but _you_ can call me anything you like.” He punctuates it with a wink and extends a bony hand for you to shake.

After another half hearted eye roll, you give him your name and return the gesture, a genuine smile pulling at the edges of your lips. “I think I’ll stick with Red for now.” 

“suit yourself.” He shrugs, taking another sip of his drink.

You grab your shake and move so you’re a sitting next to him instead of a few seats apart. He gives you an incredulous look, but you pay it no mind and he seems to accept it. 

“So, are you visiting from somewhere?”

“somethin’ like that,” he dismisses. “why? ya come here so often you can recognize the new faces?”

“Not really, I’ve just never seen another skeleton monster except for… you know…”

“boy, do i ever.” He signals Grillby for another drink and rubs his nasal ridge. You didn’t even see him finish his last one. “is there anywhere in this city he _hasn’t_ ruined?”

“Well, you aren’t doing yourself any favors by hanging out at his regular spot.”

“yeah? and where do you think i should go instead?”

You take another sip of your milkshake as you consider his question. The sweet ice cream melts on your tongue and you swallow it in one smooth motion, leaving your insides warm with the taste of liquor. You don’t miss the way he stares at you as you try to suck more of the thick liquid through the straw. You _might_ be making a slight show of it, but you’d never admit to it.

“Well, they aren’t Grillby’s that’s for sure… but I do know a few places. What kinds of things do you like?”

 

* * *

 

“so, he puts almost the whole bottle in my drink, yeah? little did he know, i saw the whole thing on my way back over.”

“You didn’t drink it, right?”

His smile grows wider, exposing more of his golden canine.

“You didn’t!” you practically shriek, grabbing onto the bar for support. “Red, that’s so gross!!” 

“you think _that’s_ gross? try eating lasagna with an entire bottle of vinegar in it, glass an’ all. needless to say, i was prepared. i downed the entire thing right in front of him without breaking eye contact. ya should’ve seen his face, sweetheart! i swear he almost up an’ dusted right then and there!”

You release a shaky breath, your composure threatening to break. “There’s a lot to unpack there. First of all, _you ate lasagna with glass in it?!?”_  

He doubles over with laughter, slamming his fist on the bar. You swear you can almost feel the reverberations in your soul.

“How can you just _say_ that like it’s some unimportant detail?! How does something like that even happen in the first place??” You’re almost screaming now, waving your hands in his face, but he’s too busy laughing to care. “Red! You’re just laughing! You aren’t even listening to me!”

Once his laughter dies down a little, he sits up and wipes a tear from his socket. “hah sorry, doll! that’s a story for another time.”

“Aw, come on!” You plead, giving him your best puppy dog eyes.

He shakes a boney finger at you, earning him a pout and a half hearted whine. “sorry, sweetheart! i can’t go wastin’ all my material right in the beginning! how else am i supposed ta look cool an’ interesting?”

“Oh, _please!_ You are _so_ cool!” You give his arm a playful punch. He tries to shrug it off, but you can still see the smile on his face.

“Pinky promise you’ll tell me later?”

He stares at you, his eyelights scanning your face for a good few seconds. Suddenly he shakes his head, a faint glow of red across his cheekbones. “ah, to hell with it… sure, sweetheart.”

“but,” he warns, holding his hand just out of reach, “only if ya promise to take me out to one of those places you talked about earlier.”

You’re sure he doesn’t mean it in a date way, but you feel your face heat up all the same. You hope he doesn’t notice, but something tells you he’s too observant to miss it.

“S-sure!”

He gives you his pinky and the two of you shake on it.

“it’s a deal.”

Before you can pull away, he holds your joined hands up to his teeth in a kiss. You suck in an involuntary breath at the familiar feel of magic crackling against your skin. You sit there holding his hand for a little, unable to make yourself let go. There’s something familiar in his expression, something that sends warm waves of nostalgia through your soul, but there’s also something that feels entirely new. You find yourself wanting to linger in the feeling a second longer and he seems to oblige, keeping your pinkies locked in the promise.

Your moment is abruptly ended by someone clearing their throat behind you.

“hey, buddy. time to go home.”

He immediately lets your hand fall, his entire body stiffening at the baritone voice. Do you know that voice? It sounds familiar…

Red growls a ‘fucking perfect’ under his breath and moves to take another long sip of his drink.

“sorry, lady. i hope he wasn’t causing you too much trouble.”

You spin around in your chair. “Not at all! I was having a great time!” 

You lock eyes and feel your stomach drop, the blood draining out of your face. 

“uh hey, kid. funny seeing you here.”

If you wanted to disappear before, you _really_ want to now. How could you not recognize that voice? It’s the same one that told you jokes over dinner and left goofy messages on your phone. _It’s the same voice that told you it wasn’t working anymore_.

He looks exactly the same, blue hoodie a little worse for wear, but that’s the only discernible difference. You find yourself wondering if he washed it since the last time.

“Hey, Sans,” you mumble awkwardly. It feels strange to talk to him after all this time. Does he still drink ketchup? Does he still work those odd hours? How’s Papyrus? Do they still live together? He used to be such an important person in your life, but skeleton in front of you is practically a stranger. You don’t know anything about him now.

  _ ~~It’s not like you knew anything about him then, either.~~_  

He scratches the back of his neck with his hand, something you recognize as a nervous habit of his. “so… uh i see you’ve met red.” 

“Yeah…” Stars, what you wouldn’t give for a shot right now. “How do you two know each other?”

“he’s my–“

“we’re cousins,” Sans butts in, cutting Red off completely. Red only gives an annoyed huff in response, turning back to his drink. In all the time you’ve known him, you’ve never seen Sans cut anyone off before. Maybe he’s changed more than you thought.

“Oh, ok.” Should you say more? After that exchange, it feels like the only thing you can manage.

“well,” he says, shoving his hands into the pockets of his shorts “we’d better get going, right red?” 

Red groans as he moves out of his seat, mouthing a small ‘sorry’ to you as he gets ready to leave. “put those drinks on sans’s tab, will ya Grillby?”

He still has that? You thought he would’ve paid that off by now.

“alright, let’s get going.” Sans mumbles, pushing his cousin over towards the door. Red starts to follow him, but stops in his tracks and turns to face you.

“can i get your number first sweetheart? you _do_ owe me a date after all…”

You feel your stomach flutter. So, it really _is_ a date? Blush starts to creep into your cheeks again, but you make no effort to conceal it this time.

“i can give you her number at home. let’s go, red.” He tugs Red more forcefully this time, still ushering him towards the door.

“Oh… um actually it’s different now.”

Sans freezes, his body going rigid.

“I can just type it in real quick?”

If Red was smiling before, his grin is shit-eating now. He pushes his way past Sans to give you his phone. “here ya go, doll.”

You can feel Sans’s eyes on you as you fill in the contact information. Was that a weird thing to say? You _do_ have a different number now. Maybe going on a date with his cousin is too weird… but the two of you _really_ hit it off! You haven’t had that much fun in a while. 

“Done!” You announce, giving the phone back to Red.

“aw, that’s perfect, sweetheart!” He coos, sliding the phone back into his pocket. “we’ll be in touch.” 

The wink he gives you flusters you all over again. Why does he have to be such a flirt? Why do you like it so much?

“see ya later, kid.”

Before you open your mouth, the two of them vanish with a soft pop, leaving you alone.

“Bye…?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhh so I really didn't have a clear plot for this in mind, I was just sort of writing scenes... I'm glad you guys like it though! I have one other thing written, but it doesn't really further the "story", it's just a shift in perspective. I could write more though if y'all have any requests! Just comment and I'll do my best! Thanks again for all of the positive feedback <3


	3. Soul to Soul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans goes to drag Red home from Grillby's and meets an old friend of his

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhm so I remember writing this one kind of quickly and not really going back over it. I did some minor editing, but this isn't really a polished work. I was just trying to get out some ideas I had. Hope you like it!

For being a version of him, Red really did seem to get on every last one of Sans’s non-existent nerves. All he asked was for him and his brother to stay put while he fixed the machine. That’s it. Sure, the situation’s not ideal for anyone involved, but the last thing he needed was for one or both of them to wander into town and cause problems. So, of course, that’s exactly what Red did. Luckily, he knows himself. He knows where he’d go after a long day. He might not have noticed Red’s absence for a few hours, but it takes him less than a few seconds to find him.

Sans steps into Grillby’s, greeted by a rush of warm air and the silent nod of a few regulars. Just as he anticipated, there’s Red at the bar, talking up some girl and giving her hand a gentle peck. He feels a headache coming on. It’s one thing to drag himself back home, but it’s another to calm down a girl he’s been harassing all evening.

He approaches the bar with silent footsteps. They don’t seem to notice him until he clears his throat.

“hey, buddy. time to go home.” 

His counterpart drops the girl’s hand completely, stiffening at the sound of his voice. Sans swears he hears something that sounds a lot like ‘fucking perfect’ before Red takes another drink, but he decides to let it go. No need to cause a scene here.

“sorry, i hope he wasn’t causing you too much trouble.” 

_*hopefully that’s enough to put her at ease while i bring this guy home._

She turns around on the bar stool, a big smile on her face. “Not at all! I was having a great time!”

His nearly soul stops in his chest. You. Of all people, Red was talking to you. He thought you stopped coming here all together after… but here you are, sitting in front of him with your usual smile, like nothing bad ever happened. He practically feels the magic drain from his bones.

“uh hey, kid. funny seeing you here.”

It sounds so flat compared to everything he could’ve said, everything he _wanted_ to say. He tries not to let it show, falling into his casual grin. It feels tight at the edges, but he doubts you’ll notice. 

“Hey, Sans.”

His name sounds weird coming out of your mouth, like a foreign language long forgotten. It’s still your voice, but the way you used to say it, the affection you put behind it, is gone, leaving it just an empty word you know how to pronounce.

He scratches the back of his neck with his hand, and you give him a look, showing that you still remember the habit. He shoves his hand back in his pocket. “so… uh i see you’ve met red.”

You give Red a look, a hint of a smile on your lips. “Yeah…”

It’s weird seeing you with himself. Well, himself and not himself at the same time. He had sometimes wondered if the two of you could’ve worked out in another universe. That’s not a hypothesis he’s willing to test right now. 

“How do you two know each other?” You look relaxed. Maybe him being here doesn’t put you on edge as much as he thought it would.

Sans sees a glint of defiance flash across Red’s face. 

“he’s my–“

“we’re cousins.” He finishes, shooting Red a glare. He rolls his eye lights in response, taking another sip of whatever it is he’s drinking. 

 _*probably mustard. gross._  

Your eyes flick back and forth between the two of them before settling into an uncomfortable expression. “Oh, ok.” 

After what feels like an eternity of silence, he rocks back on his heels, clearing his throat. “well, we’d better get going, right red?”

“fine,” he grumbles, hopping down off the bar stool. “jus’ put those drinks on sans’s tab, will ya Grillby?” 

You don’t say anything, but Sans can feel you comparing the two of them. Standing side by side, you can probably see that Red is taller, his bones a little thicker than Sans’s. It shouldn’t bother him as much as it does.

He shakes the thought, pulling Red towards the door. Suddenly, Red turns himself around to face you, a sly grin on his face. 

“can i get your number first, sweetheart? you _do_ owe me a date after all.”

He can see the blush creeping into your cheeks as you give Red a bashful smile. His hand clenches into a fist, thankfully concealed by the pocket of his hoodie. Red gives him a quick jab with his elbow, reminding him that the sound of his bones grinding together isn’t as silent as he’d like to think.

“i can give it to you at home. let’s go, red.” He does his best to stay looking relaxed, but the words still catch between his clenched teeth. Sans jerks Red towards the door, grabbing his arm with, admittedly, more force than necessary. The sound of your voice stops him in his tracks. 

“Oh… um actually it’s different now.”

 _*people get new phones all the time. it’s fine._  

The thought doesn’t stop his hand from clenching tighter though, the bones threatening to dust inside his pocket. 

“I can just type it in real quick?” Your tone is almost apologetic as you try to approach the situation with tact. It makes him want to dust.

Red pushes past him, bumping his shoulder with enough force to almost make him stumble, payback for earlier. 

“here ya go, doll,” he grins, his gold tooth glittering in the light. It’s a dumb trick of his, using magic to make it shine a little more than usual. You don’t seem to care though, completely enamored with his smile. Sans has plenty of tricks he could pull out if he wanted to, but unlike his counterpart, he’s never been a showoff.

Sans finds himself staring intently at you as you type the numbers in. You smile as you pass the phone back, giving a shy smile when your fingers accidentally brush.

“aw that’s perfect, sweetheart!” he coos. “we’ll be in touch.” The wink he adds is obnoxious, but it still manages to fluster you.

 _*i never thought she was the kind of girl who fell for stuff like that…_  

_~~*people change.~~ _

“see ya later, kid.” He doesn’t leave room for a response before pulling Red in a shortcut.

 

Their feet land on the hardwood floor with a soft pat. Red pulls himself away, brushing the dirt off his jacket. 

“next time you should just let me shortcut on my own. ‘s fuckin’ degrading.”

Sans shoves his hands in his jacket pocket and gives a noncommittal shrug. “next time you should stay at home.”

Red kicks his sneakers off and throws himself on the sofa. “an’ what the hell am i supposed to do? sit an’ twiddle my thumbs while you work alone in the basement?”

“yes.”

“yeah, i don’t think so." 

Sans makes his way over to the sofa and shoves Red’s legs to the side, replaying the scene at the bar in his head.

_* her hair is different, shorter maybe? it looks good. not that her old hair looked bad, this is just different. i like it. is that too weird?_

He used to know you like the bones in his hand, but it’s been a long time. So much has changed now.

_*what have you been up to? still doing the crossword every day?_

Those puzzles used to take you forever, and you almost always quit halfway through. Still, you insisted on trying them every morning. He offered to help you once, but he couldn’t resist cracking jokes the whole time and the two of you never finished it. You pretended to hate his puns, but no matter what you did, you could never hide that smile of yours.

_*red probably didn’t get you to laugh like that._

Red’s rough voice pulls him away from his thoughts.

“yo, so what’s your deal with the girl at the bar?” He’s staring right at Sans, his eye lights sharp and focused. He’s seen Red pull the whole “casual and indifferent” routine before, but when the two of them are alone, he doesn’t even bother. What’s the point when you can spot each other’s tells? 

“she’s an old friend,” he supplies with a shrug.

Red knows it’s a lie, but doesn’t push it, settling back into the sofa. “she didn’t seem like your biggest fan.”

“what can i say? even a guy like me has some enemies.”

Red doesn’t outwardly react to the statement, but Sans can hear the sound of his bones rubbing together as he fidgets with his fingers. Slowly, he starts to relax again, staring at the fan on the ceiling.

“well, you’re missin’ out buddy,” he smiles, resting his hands behind his head. “she’s one hell of a girl. _great_ sense of humor, too.” 

He manages to keep his eye lights from disappearing, but it takes more effort than he’d like to admit.

“yeah, well your jokes probably reminded her of someone else’s.”

Red lets out a snort of laughter. “that’s real funny, ‘cause she actually told me you and i are pretty different.” Before he can say anything, Red stops him with a wave of his hand. “let’s cut the bullshit, sans. it took me two seconds to figure it out. i could practically hear your bones rattling when she turned around.”

He can’t decide what’s worse: Red randomly picking you up at a bar, or Red knowing who you are and having the satisfaction of getting your number.

“ya know, i almost didn’t go for it,” he adds, tossing his phone up in the air and catching it with magic, “but she asked me to promise i’d talk to her more. now, i don’t usually make those things lightly, but she was holdin’ out her pinky for me, this stupidly happy grin on her face. i couldn’t exactly say ‘no’. can’t say i’m not lookin’ forward to it, though. the two of us had a great time tonight.” 

Sans knows what smile he’s talking about. It’s the one you get after you’ve been laughing for ages. It’s bright and goofy and damn irresistible, but it’s not an excuse. It doesn’t make the situation any better.

“you shouldn’t get her hopes up.”

“what? like she’s _so_ desperate to get back with you.” He lets out a short bark of laughter. “‘sides, she fell for us once, who’s ta say she won’t do it again? maybe it’ll even be better this time around. 

“she fell for _me_. not us, _me_. and it didn’t work out, so leave it alone.”

Red only shrugs, closing his eyes. “well if she really fell for _you_ , _you’re_ the one it didn’t work out with. that’s got nothin’ ta do with me.”

The silence between the two of them is interrupted by the buzzing of a phone.

Red slips his phone out of his pocket, chuckling at the message on his screen. “heh i hate ta break up this lovely soul ta soul, but i gotta go; a certain sweetheart is askin’ for me.”

Before he can protest, Red shortcuts away, leaving Sans alone on the sofa. He only relaxes when he hears the springs creak on Red’s bed.

He has to fix that machine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaahhh! I don't like writing OG Sans. It's just really hard for me to find an authentic voice for him. He has this way about him where he plays it cool so much of the time that it's hard to know what he really thinks, or even how he would think it. What would you even do if you met an alternate version of yourself? This is why I stuck to writing scenes and not a cohesive plot. 
> 
> I don't know what I'm doing, I just like Red.
> 
> Thanks for all of your lovely comments! I'd be repeating myself a billion times if I responded to all of them, but I've read them and they fill me with such joy! <3 I love any and all feedback! It doesn't even have to be positive, just constructive :)
> 
> Is there something you wanna see next? I don't have a big plan for this so feel free to let me know!


	4. Then

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The memory of a first kiss

_“3… 2… 1… Happy New Year!”_

Glitter and streamers falls from the above, covering everything in a shower of colored paper. There are sounds of cheers, claps, and excited talks of resolutions. Undyne steps past him, pushing her way through the crowd.

“Outta the way, nerd! I’m gonna go kiss my girlfriend!”

He chuckles to himself as he watches her lift up various monsters in search of Alphys. When she finds her, she lets out a loud whoop, scooping her up bridal style and planting a kiss on her lips. Alphys gives a shy wave, the scales on her face bright red.

He feels a hand on his shoulder. “HAPPY NEW YEAR, BROTHER!”

“happy new year, paps.”

His brother’s bones are tangled in streamers and tinsel, but he doesn’t seem to care, sporting a smile so bright it could light up the whole Underground. The sun up here is really something, but Papyrus’s optimism still gives it a run for its money. 

“DO YOU HAVE ANY NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS? I AM GOING TO MAKE EVEN MORE SURFACE FRIENDS THIS YEAR!”

“heh that sounds cool, bro. i’m gonna make a big change this year, too.”

“THAT IS SO WONDERFUL, SANS! WHAT IS IT?”

“i’m gonna get a full 14 hours of sleep every day.”

“YOU ALREADY DO THAT!”

“yeah? well i’m trying to live my dreams,” he shrugs, rocking back on his heels, “so i better start having a lot of them.” 

Papyrus stomps his foot and looks away, but he can’t hide the smile growing on his face. 

“heh, did i get you with that one?”

“YOU DID, AND I HATE IT!” His brother groans, but Sans can still hear his attempts at muffling his chuckles. It’s not every day Papyrus admits to liking a joke. It’s a good way to start off the year.

He scans the crowd, but his eye lights stop on you, climbing up the stairs with your shoes in hand. He weaves between monsters and people, giving out smiles and “happy new year’s.” Finally, he manages to catch you out on the balcony. You’re staring off at the skyline of New Ebbot, tapping your fingers on the metal railing. 

“hey, buddy. i haven’t talked to you since last year!” 

You snort, but keep your eyes on the city. “Starting the new year off right, I see!”

“what can i say?” he smiles. “i’ve got quite the funny bone.”

“I knew you were gonna say that. You need new skeleton jokes.” He can’t be sure in the dark, but he thinks he sees you smiling to yourself.

Your eyes dart up to the sky and you hold your breath. Just then, a firework erupts sending a shower of light through the night sky. You breathe out in awe, your breath puffing out in little clouds.

“My family never did Fourth of July celebrations, and my town was too small to do big shows like this for the new year. I didn’t see any fireworks in real life until college…” Another one explodes in a big green bloom. “I love them.”

“watch this.” 

He rubs his hands together, summoning a bone attack. He lets it float out off of the balcony before hitting it with a second one, causing them both to break in an array of blue sparks.

He rubs the back of his neck nervously. “i know it’s no firework but–“ 

“It’s beautiful.” you finish, a big smile on your face. 

He smiles, moving to stand closer to you and you lean into him, your shoulders touching. He can feel your warmth through his hoodie.

The two of you watch the show, pointing out your favorite fireworks and colors. He cracks a few jokes about you getting _fired_ up, and you slap his arm playfully, your laughter echoing in the night. After a while, you fall silent, staring up into the sky. It’s nice. 

“Sans?” Your voice sounds different breaking the silence. It’s soft and hesitant.

His soul speeds up.

“yeah?” 

“I like you…. In a more-than-friends kind of way.”

He looks over at you, but your eyes are glued to the sky. Even in the darkness, he can see your cheeks are bright red.

He’s not surprised, but his soul still jumps in his chest when he hears you say it. For the past few months, the two of you have been closer than ever. You’d been talking more than usual, sometimes even late into the night. At movie night, you’d sit with your knees touching. You’d rest your head on his shoulder, and he’d put his arm around you to pull you closer. Once, he fell asleep with his head in your lap. When he woke up, you were reading a book, mindlessly tracing circles on his skull. It was nice. He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t thought about it. But…

“Y-you don’t have to feel the same way. I just thought I’d be upfront with you, you know?”

He reaches up to touch your cheek, turning your face to look at his. He doesn’t know what comes over him, but in that moment his soul is pounding in his chest, screaming at him. Magic rushes through his bones.

 

He kisses you.

 

He doesn’t think about how it works, or what will happen after, he just kisses you, feeling your skin under his bones. You’re so warm, so soft. He feels you lean into him, wrapping your arms around him. To finally hold you, to feel you this close… he can feel your body pressing into his bones. If it’s uncomfortable, you don’t care, allowing yourself to be held tighter. 

He pulls away, taking in the sight of your face. Your eyes bright and wild, your cheeks flushed, and your smile goofy and big.

“Wow…” You breath, staring into his eye sockets with wonder and amazement. Your face is cast in a blue light.

_*where is that coming from?_

You reach out and hold his cheek in your hand, rubbing your thumb gently over the bone. “You’re glowing.” You whisper.

He feels the magic in his bones burn, illuminating your face even more. “i… uh…”

“It’s sweet.” You smile, giving his cheek a peck.

His brother’s voice calls him from downstairs.

“SANS, WHERE DID YOU GO? YOU NEED TO TELL THE SNOWPUFF STORY!”

He gives you an apologetic look, but you nod. “Go ahead.”

He shortcuts out of your arms, leaving you on the balcony alone. He thinks he hears you squeal a second after he enters the void, but he can’t be sure.

_*this is gonna be a great year._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's short, but I felt like it didn't fit with the other part so that will be its own chapter later. This is just a little glimpse into Reader and Sans's past. I'm working on a Red date for next chapter, but I've been in a relationship so long that I forgot what you even do on dates! Every time my SO and I go out, it just feels like hanging out with my favorite person. I really have to think back to come up with something cute and fun. Any thoughts? As always, thank you for your comments!


	5. Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A date with Red

You’re nervous. Stars, why are you so nervous? It’s just Red. You’ve been talking to him almost every day for the past week, this shouldn’t be that hard. Sure, it’s still new, but it feels so easy, almost like you’ve known each other for longer. You find yourself showing the parts of your personality that you usually reserve for good friends, sharing your dumbest jokes and silliest thoughts. He takes it all in stride, playing along with you like he’s been doing it forever. This is, by all accounts, a very good thing. So why are you pacing around your apartment like a trapped animal?

Your mind flashes back to the conversation at the bar. He had called it a date then, but he could’ve been joking. When the two of you made plans the other day, he didn’t say anything about it. It must just be a hangout of sorts.

_He’s just coming over for some takeout and a movie. That’s what friends do._

You catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and stop to smooth out your hair. After fiddling with your appearance, you groan in frustration, throwing your hands at your sides.

 _This is stupid._  

Red doesn’t come across as the type of guy who really cares about those things. Hell, you know the only pants he owns are just multiple pairs of the exact same basketball shorts.

_“some people like my brother spend so much time makin’ sure they look perfect. me? let’s just say if it takes more than 5 minutes ta do, it ain’t worth it.”_

You’d be lying if you said you’d never felt that way. There have been plenty of days where you stumbled out of the house and didn’t even bother to look in a mirror first, simply being too tired, busy to care. You wouldn’t judge other people for doing it, and you already knew Red wouldn’t either. But despite knowing this, you still spent hours cleaning your apartment and picking out exactly what you wanted to wear. It’s stupid. Way too much effort to put into what isn’t a date. 

You glance at the clock anxiously. It’s past the time he said he’d be here.

 _Only by a few minutes, though. Relax._  

You can’t relax though. What if he sees you again and doesn’t like you? What if it turns out that you have nothing to say? What if he hates the food or the movie or– 

Your thoughts are interrupted by two knocks at the door.

You release a shaky breath, going over to unlock it. Your hand barely touches the knob before you hear a familiar gravelly voice on the other end.

“knock knock.”

You smile, leaning into the door. “Who’s there?”

“snow.”

“Snow who?”

“ _snow_ use askin’ when you can just open up.”

You can’t help but giggle, doing exactly that. You’re greeted by a skeleton, hands shoved casually in the pockets of his jacket. 

“heya, sweetheart. _ice_ ta see ya again.”

You groan, stepping to the side to let him in. “That was terrible.”

He obliges, kicking off his sneakers. “aw, c’mon doll! no need ta be so _cold.”_

You roll your eyes, and make your way into the kitchen. You grab a glass, motioning to him, but he shakes his head. You shrug, filling the it up with water.

“You’re a little late, you know,” you tease.

“nah, i showed up exactly when i wanted to.” You see him shoot the clock a quick glance before looking back at you. “what? did ya think i wouldn’t come?” 

You shrug. “Well we haven’t known each other for very long. For all I _snow_ , you could be a total _flake.”_

He stares at you for a minute studying your face. Then, he slowly starts to chuckle. It’s different than the booming laugh he had at the bar. It’s softer, more genuine. It’s nice.

“stars, sweetheart. i didn’t think ya had it in ya!”

You can’t help but glow with pride, a big grin spreading across your face. “Well maybe you should get to know me better!” 

“there’s nothin’ i’d like ta do more.” He flashes you his winning smile, the one that threatens to melt you into a puddle.

All of your previous worries feel ridiculous now. He’s the exact same guy you spoke to on the phone. The same guy you spent all night texting. This is the monster who knowingly drank a beer mixed with ungodly amounts of mustard just to make the guy who pranked him uncomfortable. There’s nothing to stress over. You’ve got this.

“what are we watchin’?” he asks, throwing himself on your sofa. 

“A masterpiece.” 

He snorts, but doesn’t make any further comment. “lay it on me, doll.”

You make a show out of pulling out the DVD case, displaying it in a Vanna White fashion. “This is a movie– No! A _film_ titled ‘Jesus Christ; Vampire Hunter and it is the best thing you will ever watch.”

“isn’t that the guy from that human book? the bible or somethin’ like that?”

You smile, nodding slowly.

He studies you for a moment, eyeing you skeptically. “now, i’m no expert on human culture or anything, but that sounds fucking terrible.” 

“It’s a musical.”

His eye lights widen in shock. “no way. where did ya even find something like that?” 

You grin, plopping in the disc. “It was one dollar at Goodwill. Why someone would donate a treasure like this is beyond me.” 

The title music starts up and you can hear him chuckling from the couch behind you.

“fucking stars, sweetheart! what’ve i gotten myself into?” 

You skip back over to the sofa, settling yourself next to him. Part of you wants to move so you’re sitting closer together, but you shake the thought, pulling out your phone. 

“Grillby’s or pizza?”

He laughs, the sound sending a warm vibration through your chest. “like ya even hafta ask.” 

 

* * *

 

The movie’s been done for some time, but neither of you are willing to get up from the sofa. You’re in the middle of a very heated competition, sharing the worst pick-up lines you know.

Red flips open his wallet, tossing a card in your lap.

“What is this?” you ask, turning the piece of plastic around in your hands.

“it’s my library card. i’m checkin’ ya out.”

You toss the card back, refusing to look at him.

“what? that bad?” he probs, trying to bring your gaze back to him. When you do look at him, you’re fighting to keep back a smile. He chuckles shaking his head. “that was a good one then, wasn’t it?”

“No comment.” Your voice betrays you, wavering slightly on the last word. You quickly shake it off, your next pick-up line already up to bat. It’s a niche subject, but he’s winning and you need to pull out all the stops. “Are you a ring theorist? Because that ass is maximal ideal.”

It earns you a surprised chuckle and a curious look. “heh, that’s not one ya hear every day. can’t say i expected that from you.”

You feel your face start to burn. “Ugh, I knew it might be too nerdy!”

He laughs. “nah don’t worry about it, doll. it’s actually right up my alley.”

“Really? Are you a mathematician?”

“it’s really more of a hobby,” he shrugs. He’s still smiling, but there’s something tight about it. “why? are you?”

“Stars, no! My mom was.” 

He seems to relax a little bit, falling back into his easy grin. “that was a good trick ya pulled, but i don’t think it’ll be enough for you to beat me on this next one.”

“Oh yeah? Why? Do you have a good one lined up?”

“like ya wouldn’t believe.” He sits up, his smile turning sly. “your little line inspired me. this one requires some participation, so i’m gonna need ya ta pay attention, ok?”

You sit so you can see him better, already intrigued.

“alright, so ya know some stuff about math, right? what happens when ya take the distance between two points and ya keep multiplyin’ it by one half? do they ever touch?” 

“No.”

“are ya sure?” 

“Positive.”

“let’s try it and see.” His grin grows wider showing more of his gold tooth. You have to pull your gaze back up to his sockets, swallowing hard. “hows about we take the distance between you an’ me ok?”

You slowly nod, eyes fixed on his red eye lights. There’s something about them… you can’t put your finger on it.

“let’s cut it in half.”

You move closer to him on the couch. Suddenly, he holds up a boney finger between the two of you, stopping you from coming any closer. “that’s perfect.”

From where you’re sitting, you can feel the warmth radiating off of his body. There’s something that sounds like the faint rattling of bones, but you can’t be sure. Your heart speeds up in your chest.

“let’s cut it again.”

Again, you inch closer to him. You can feel your knee on his femur, but he doesn’t seem to mind. His hand drapes over the back cushions of the couch, brushing your shoulder. This time when you stop, you face is only inches away from his. You feel your breath catch in your throat.

“tell me sweetheart,” his rough voice is barely above a whisper now “what happens if we cut it in half one more time?”

Slowly, you reach up, cradling his jaw in your hand. “I think,” you whisper, leaning closer “maybe something like this.”

You press your lips against his teeth. For a moment, he stiffens at the touch, then you feel his jaw begin to go slack in your hand. Two arms wrap around you, pulling you closer, and your hand moves to rest at the side of his skull, rubbing soft circles with your fingers. There’s a gentle control about the way he kisses you; you can tell from the way he’s holding you that there’s a lot of strength he’s holding back. A soft moan escapes your lips and you deepen the kiss briefly before breaking it altogether.

Slowly, he pulls away, his eyes locking with your own. When he speaks, his voice is breathy and low, the gravelly quality sending shivers down your spine. “stars, sweetheart. i didn’t think that would actually work,” he chuckles, his breath tickling your neck.

“Are you disappointed that it did?” you whisper, a shy smile on your lips.

“hell no.”

His phone vibrates, causing him to sit back and fumble through his pockets. After finding it, he takes one look at the number and groans.

“Anyone important?” 

“it could be the queen for all i care. i still wouldn’t pick it up if it meant interrupting this.” He rejects the call and tosses his phone across the room. His arms wrap back around you, pulling you close. The fur from his jacket tickles your face, but you couldn’t care less, twisting the fabric in your fingers to pull him closer.

“now, where were we?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I rewrote this a bunch of times because I didn't like how it was turning out. It's been forever since I've been on a first date! Everything I wrote was either too familiar, or unnatural sounding. I hope this came out ok!
> 
> By the way, Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter is a real movie that I bought at Goodwill. The whole thing is literally up on youtube so you can just watch it for free if you want. It's got everything! Jesus! Musical numbers! Vampires! Choreographed fight scenes! Lesbians! Truly a film for the ages. 10/10 would recommend. EDIT: I forgot to mention its 90's punk aesthetic. Please watch this movie.
> 
> Again, thank you so much for all of the comments! What do you think about Reader and Red's relationship? Any thoughts on what might happen? Stay warm you guys!


	6. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can you really ever keep a secret from yourself?

“you seem happy.”

The statement catches him off guard. Not so much so that he stops what he’s doing, but enough to make him glance at Sans over his shoulder.

_*seem happy? what the fuck is that supposed to mean?_  

The real question is, how is anyone in this tooth-ache of a world not happy? They’ve got fucking everything up here. For starters, they’re up here, not down in that hellhole. Secondly, you can go outside without having to watch your back all the time—not that he doesn’t still, but most people don’t which is really saying something. No one’s threatening to dust him for looking at them funny, and that’s barely scratching the surface (heh). All in all, there’s a fuck ton of reasons for someone to be happy. He’s surprised they can even recognize the emotion.

“oh yeah? what makes ya say that?” He tries to appear as uninvolved as possible, flipping through the morning paper to the puzzle section. Boss would kill him if he filled in the Sudoku, so he does it mentally instead.

“you’re smiling ear to ear.” 

“i’m a skeleton, ‘m always smilin’. plus, i don’t even have ears.”

Sans gives a light chuckle, but it’s half hearted at best. Red knows this whole “conversation” is far from over, but Sans won’t push it until the opportunity presents itself again.

If Red had nerves to begin with—given that they weren’t already shot from all the shit he’s had to put up with—this Sans would’ve worn down every last one of them. Red always liked to think of himself as a master of casual interrogation, but watching this version of himself do it makes him want to dust on the spot. He could chalk it up to the fact that he already knows the tactics, but Sans might as well be hitting him over the head with a fucking wrench, chanting “I’ll know if you’re lying” until he passes out. Red’s abandoned the act altogether when he’s around the house—it’s not like he won’t see right through it anyway—but this Sans is still hell bent on keeping it up. 

His thoughts are interrupted by the sound of heavy footsteps. He knows for a fact that his brother can be quiet when he wants to, but why he keeps announcing his presence like this is beyond him. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Boss pouring himself a cup of coffee. He should really have more for breakfast than that, but bringing it up would mean sitting through another lecture about all of his own bad habits. He settles for shooting his brother a look, earning him a scowl. Boss proceeds to chug the entire cup without breaking eye contact.

“WHY ARE YOU SO HAPPY? DID SOMEONE DIE?”

“i’m not! why does everyone keep sayin’ that?”

He pours himself another cup, taking his time with this one. “YOU’RE SMILING. YOU NEVER DO THAT.”

“i don’t have skin! ‘m always doin’ it!” 

“DO YOU REALLY THINK I’M _THAT_ STUPID? I KNOW WHEN MY _OWN BROTHER_ IS SMILING.” He snatches the paper out of Red’s hands with an indignant huff, skimming over the Sudoku. Seeing Red hasn’t been filling it out, he eyes him suspiciously, but ultimately, he folds the paper and makes his way back up to his room.

“eat a banana or something,” he calls over his shoulder. He can practically hear Boss’s eye roll from here, but can’t help the satisfied smirk from spreading across his face when he sees his brother do just that.

There’s a moment of peaceful silence. Of course, that, like almost everything else in this fucking world, is ruined by Sans hopping off the counter and joining him at the table.

“so, what’s got you grinning?”

Almost as if the stars decide to grant him mercy, the Papyrus that isn’t his Papyrus strolls into the room, a bright smile on his face. 

“HELLO EVERYONE! RED, HOW WAS YOUR DATE LAST NIGHT?”

He doesn’t need to look up to feel Sans’s eyes on him. “yeah red, how was it?”

Fuck. Of course. How could he possibly assume something was going to work in his favor for once? It’s not Papyrus’s fault though, Red didn’t exactly tell him it was secret. He never would’ve let him out of the house if he thought he was going against his brother.

“it was good…” he mumbles, suddenly very interested in his cereal. It was better than good, but now isn’t the time or the place to think about it.

“I AM SO GLAD! I THOUGHT YOU SEEMED HAPPIER TO ME, BUT IT’S NICE TO KNOW WHY!” 

* _fucking stars. we’re back to that now… is it really that obvious?_

“hey paps? i’ve been meaning to tell you, you got a call from undyne earlier.” 

“REALLY? I HAVEN’T BEEN EXPECTING ONE…”

“all the more reason to call her back.” It’s a cheap excuse and an obvious lie, but whether or not Papyrus notices doesn’t seem to matter.

He shoots Red a nervous look, but ultimately shakes it off. “I’LL GO DO THAT NOW THEN.”

He’s barely left the kitchen when Sans grabs Red’s jacket, pulling him into a shortcut. 

 

“what the hell did you do?”

 

Red starts chuckling. It gets louder and louder, slowly evolving into a booming roar. Being threatened isn’t exactly a laughing matter, but stars if it isn’t funny as hell. This universe’s Sans, Mr. Too-Good-For-Anybody, the guy who’s too cool to say what he means, hiding behind jokes and too-tight smiles, is pissed because Red _dared_ to watch a movie with you. Honestly, it’s the funniest fukcing thing this Sans has ever done. He could put him at ease by telling him that not much happened, but where’s the fun in that?

“nothin’ that wasn’t mutual, that’s for sure,” he says with a wink.

Sans lets go of his jacket, sending him backwards with a shove. He can understand why Boss loves to piss him off sometimes, the reactions are fucking priceless. Sans paces around the room, rubbing his nasal bone and muttering to himself. Red takes the opportunity to adjust his jacket and take a look around. He brought them to the basement? This _must_ be serious then. Red hasn’t been allowed within three feet of the machine since he got here. 

“i told you to leave it alone.”

“try tellin’ that to her. she can’t get enough of me.” It’s not entirely true—he’s been on the initiating side of his fair share of conversations—but Sans is too focused to even notice the partial lie. “what’s the big deal?” From what he gathered, the two of you broke up years ago, Sans being the one to end it.

“you don’t belong here. did you ever think about what would happen when you have to go back?”

Of course he thought about it, but something tells him that it isn’t the real reason Sans is upset. “she knows i won’t always be around. we’re just havin’ some fun while i am. what’s so bad about that?”

Sans stops in his tracks, slowly turning to face Red.

 

“stop it. **n o w**.”

 

“make me.”

 

The two stare at each other, waiting for one of them to make a move. Something flashes across his counterpart’s eye sockets and Red’s magic comes to life, humming just below the surface of his bones. Sans wouldn’t dust him. He couldn’t. But there’s a moment where Red swears he sees him consider it. After another tense moment, Sans suddenly sighs, falling into a rolling chair.

“look,” he says, rubbing his temples “i know how you feel. she’s my soulmate too, but…” He trails off, letting the sentence hang in the air. 

“but what? wait… what the hell do you mean she’s your soulmate?!”


	7. Aftermath (part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The real reason you broke up

“what the hell do you mean she’s your soulmate?”

He doesn’t say anything, his face still covered by his hand.

“does she know?”

Sans’s eye lights dart around the room, refusing to look at Red. That answers the question, but he can feel Red’s eyes on his back, waiting for Sans has to say it.

“no.”

“you’re a fucking idiot.”

“i know.”

There’s a long silence, the constant hum of the lights the only sound in the room. There’s nothing Red can ask that he hasn’t already spent sleepless nights trying to find the answer to. He can’t change things. He made a selfish choice based on a fantasy and it didn’t work out. There’s no LOAD or RESET, and despite the aching in his soul, he wouldn’t want them anyway. He has to live with it. Things are better this way.

“ya have ta tell her,” he finally says with a sigh. “’an don’t make up some shit about how ya can’t. that’s a lie and we both know it.”

“you aren’t going to tell her?” It’s wishful thinking at best, but he is a little surprised that Red isn’t jumping on the opportunity. If his general demeanor today was anything to go by, the two of you seemed to really hit it off.

* _finding out you were soulmates would be the cherry on top._

Red laughs, but it sounds tight, almost bitter. “ya said it yourself, i don’t belong here. your universe, your problem.” He doesn’t sound convinced, but they both know he’s right. He coughs and shifts where he stands, rubbing the back of his neck. “an’ even if i did, how would i explain why she has two?”

He couldn’t. Not without telling you who he is anyway. This is why he didn’t want Red hanging around. You break up, and then two years later you think you’re moving on with some other guy only to find out it’s an alternate version of him in the first place. It’s cruel.

“you shouldn’t have gotten involved.”

“an’ what? you’d just go along livin’ your life and she wouldn’t know?”

This time, Red doesn’t seem to expect Sans to answer. They both know. 

Sans feels something drop into his lap. He looks up to find Red’s phone.

“what are…”

Red refuses to look at him, staring at the machine in the corner. “jus’ do it an get it over with.”

He scrolls through the contacts, ignoring the pit in his stomach when he notices your cute nickname. He hardly has any time to prepare, the phone only ringing three times before you pick up. 

“Hey, handsome!” you sing, your voice slightly distorted through the speaker.

He knows the sweet voice is for Red, but for a moment, he can pretend. “uh it’s not… this is sans.”

The line goes silent for a moment, the sound of static on the other end.

“Oh… um hello.”

“i hate to call you up like this, but… uh…” _why is this so hard?_ “we have to talk. can you come over?”

 

* * *

 

You sit on the edge of his bed, careful to stay a few feet away from him. You’re so close it hurts.

* _just do it. do it now._

“uh… i don’t know how to say this so i’ll just say it.” You look over at him and the words catch in his throat. He drags his eyes away and forces them out, despite how inarticulate they are. “we’re… uh… we’re soulmates.”

You’re completely silent, staring at the empty wall. He wishes he knew what you were thinking, or what you were feeling. Just something, anything, to let him know how you’re taking it. His soul thumps in his chest, threatening to crack his ribs with each beat.

“I don’t believe you.” 

He had mentally prepared himself for a lot of possible reactions, but that wasn’t one of them.

“well, uh we are. a soulmate is when you have two uh… souls that–”

“I know what a soulmate is, Sans. I just don’t believe that you’re mine.”

He doesn’t know what to say. It isn’t a belief, or even a choice. Your souls either resonate or they don’t. It’s science. It’s a fact.

_*are you disappointed?_

“If… If we were soulmates, wouldn’t…” you trail off, unable to finish the thought.

“if we were soulmates, what?”

You sigh, rubbing your arm. “If we were soulmates, I would’ve made you happy. But I didn’t.” 

The hurt in your voice nearly cracks his soul. It’s worse than the breakup. Worse than seeing you with Red. None of that even matters now. He can’t sit here, listening to you tell him it’s your fault. It’s not your fault. It never was. Stars, you should be _angry_ with him, not… not this. 

“you did. you made me so happy, please don’t say that.” It’s hard to keep the pleading out of his voice, but he doesn’t care. You shouldn’t be blaming yourself. Not when he was the one who–

“You don’t have to lie to make me feel better. I’ve gotten over it. Some people just don’t work out.” You sound so calm, so resigned. 

This isn’t… That’s not what he wanted. None of this is what he wanted.

“i’m sorry.”

You slowly turn to look at him. “For what?”

“for doing this in the first place. i shouldn’t have… we shouldn’t have been together at all, then it wouldn’t have ended like that and things would be better...”

“Don’t.”

He snaps his head up to look at you, but your face calm and resolute.

“I’m not sorry it happened. I don’t regret dating you, Sans. Sometimes I think I do, but it’s not true. I don’t regret the fun we had. I don’t regret the memories we made. Yeah, it was shitty at the end, but it happened. I don’t know where I’d be now if it didn’t. Maybe we’d still be friends, but one thing’s for sure, I’d know a lot less than I do now.” 

He thought for sure you’d hate him. “i’d hate me if i were you.”

“Well you’re not me. That doesn’t mean I like you. In all honesty, I don’t.” He should’ve expected as much, but the words still send a sharp pain through his soul. He hides it well and you continue, none the wiser. “But I don’t hate you. I just wish you would’ve talked to me first. You always kept so much from me. I thought that when we… I thought it meant you trusted me.” 

“i did trust you.”

You actually laugh, shaking your head from side to side. “Do you honestly expect me to believe that? I’m not an idiot, Sans. I knew when you were keeping things from me. Towards the end, I could tell something was bothering you, but I decided to give you space. I thought…” You laugh again, but it sounds watery.

* _are you crying?_

“I _actually_ thought you’d tell me if I gave you time. The longer it went on, the more I knew you wouldn’t.” You look at him, tears building at the edge of your eyes. “If you hadn’t broken up with me at the café, I would’ve done it myself.”

* _were things between us really that bad?_

You sigh, shaking it off. “Why did you ask me here? What’s the real reason?”

* _stars, i can’t do this._

“we’re soulmates, and you needed to know.”

You fall silent again, this time however, you seem to be thinking much harder, processing the new information. When you finally speak again, your voice is softer. Calm, but unsure. “When did you know?”

There’s no good way to answer. 

_~~*i could start by telling the truth.~~ _

“a week or so before we got together.”

Your head snaps to look at him, pure betrayal in your eyes.

_*please don’t cry. please._

“Why didn’t–” Your voice breaks and you swallow, composing yourself. “What happened? What went wrong?”

He kissed you. That’s what happened. He ruined everything. Things were perfect the way they were.

“i can’t tell you.”

You move to leave, but his voice stops you. 

“i can show you.”

He doesn’t explain any further, but you know what he means. A soul connection. The two of you had done it before, but if he was being honest, he always kept a part of him blocked off and hidden away from you. He used to think you couldn’t tell, but he isn’t so sure anymore.

You nod and he begins the process of opening himself up. It’s difficult to do under stress, but he still manages. One look from you is enough for him to know it worked. He takes a deep breath, his mind going back to the beginning.

When you were friends, there were no expectations. You weren’t looking to him as a boyfriend. You didn’t need anything from him but his company. It didn’t bother you when he disappeared for a few days. When he came back, you acted like nothing happened. You’d still spend all night talking and making jokes, even falling asleep on the phone. You fit perfectly into his dynamic with Papyrus. He didn’t _have_ to take you out or hold you or tell people you were his. You expected nothing from him except what he was willing to give. It was enough. He loved you and you didn’t have to do anything. Things changed when you started dating. You started asking questions, feeling hurt when he wouldn’t answer them. He could tell you were lonely, that you needed someone to be there for you, but he just couldn’t. He loved you so much, but if you two could've just gone back to the way things were before... He wanted to be who you needed but–

_*you’re crying. why are you crying?_

"Sans..."

_*_ _please._

“Why couldn’t you just tell me?”

Stars, you sound so hurt.

_*i wanted to i–_

“Bullshit!” you scream, tears streaming down your cheeks. “We could’ve tried something, anything! B-but you didn’t w-want– Y-you dragged me along from months j-just because of your commitment issues! You let me believe we were–” You look away from him, a sob finally escaping your lips.

In a split second, Red appears in front of the bed, frantically searching the room. “i heard shouting is everything…” His eyes pan over to you, stopping on your weeping figure. “s-sweetheart, are you…” He doesn’t finish the question before wrapping his arms around you.

You cling to his jacket, your voice barely above a hoarse whisper. “Red, everything is fine, I-I just want to go home now.” 

He doesn’t hesitate before pulling you away in a shortcut, leaving Sans alone on his bed.

He feels something drip on his leg. Holding a hand up to his face, he can feel the wet streaks down his cheeks.

_*when did i start crying?_

He stares at the spot where the two of you disappeared, your words still ringing in his skull.

_“Why didn’t you tell me?_

_*i wanted to. you have no idea._

_“You dragged me along for months just because of your commitment issues.”_

  

*that’s not… i didn’t mean to.

_~~*but i did.~~ _

 

_“you’re a fucking idiot.”_

  

_“i know.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy! Ok! We did it! I had a lot of comments asking how Sans could do this if he knew she was his soulmate. This chapter should clear that up but if you still aren't sure, I have a more detailed/explicit explanation in the comments.
> 
> Thank you for all of the comments and kudos! I'm sorry if I didn't respond to your particular comment, but please know that I've read it and I love it. It can get kind of crazy typing "thank you so much" over and over again so that's why I haven't been doing it. But again, it does make me happy and sometimes I read them more than once so there's that!
> 
> Thoughts?


	8. The Machine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans and Red get to work.

“can ya pass me the socket wrench?” After a moment of silence, there’s a sound of metal sliding against tile. Red, still elbow deep in the machine, doesn’t bother to look up. “i said pass, not kick.”

Sans barely acknowledges him, flipping another page in Red’s notebook. He’s lucky they’re technically the same person, otherwise it’d be impossible to decipher the equations and diagrams. Sans, of course, had the same idea and didn’t bother to make his own notes accessible either, but he didn’t realize how much of it pain it’d be if anyone else wanted to read them. Then again, why bother if you think you’ll be working alone?

He hears a grunt followed by some light cursing.

“any day would be great, princess.”

Despite his best efforts, he still stiffens at the nickname. Sans does his best to deny Red the satisfaction of knowing he’s gotten under his metaphorical skin, but he can’t always hide his annoyance with a shrug and a smile. In all honesty, that’s probably the only reason why Red calls him that at all.

Red scoffs, demanding Sans's attention again. “oh yeah, don’t worry ‘bout me. i’ve got all fucking day.”

Sans sighs and lifts his hand to float the wrench up to him. It might not be the most practical solution—the use of magic taking a little more effort than walking over and handing it to him—but he decides it’s worth it not to get up. He’s found his momentum; anything that would take him out of it causes more harm than good.

After another minute or two of silence, he hears Red whisper a silent “fuck” under his breath. A sigh followed by the sound of the wrench hitting the floor is enough to tell him that Red’s decided to take a break.

Sans scribbles down a particularly interesting equation before shooting Red a quick glance from the corner of his eye. He’s lying back in a swivel chair, his eyes screwed shut in concentration.

“find anything interesting?”

“if by interesting you mean a panel with nothing behind it, then yeah. incredibly fucking interesting, not to mention useless as hell.”

Sans makes an interested sound, but he isn’t really paying attention. Red doesn’t seem to mind though, taking the time to wipe the grease off of his hands with a dirty towel.

Having Red help out wasn’t such a bad idea after all. Sure, part of him still can’t stand the guy, but things aren’t so bad when they’re working. Something about Red changes when he’s fixing the machine. He goes quiet, focused only on the task at hand. It’s the only time Sans can see the similarities between the two of them. It’s like the they speak the same silent language where a nod means “let’s try it” and the shake of a head says “I’ve already thought of that.” Sometimes, he doesn’t even need to finish his thought before Red immediately jumps on board, finishing his sentence before he knows how to word it. It’s like having an extra set of your own hands to help out.

Of course, they still have their differences. Where Sans studied theoretical physics with a hint of astronomy for fun, Red’s degree is in mechanical engineering with some pure math on the side. He’d be lying if he said the difference in perspective wasn’t useful though. Their notes aren’t as similar as he initially thought, the most overlap occurring in the obvious places. He’s made more progress with Red in one week than on his own in the past month, not that he’d ever admit it.

“makin’ any headway with the notes over there?” Red balls up the grease covered rag and makes a free throw. It doesn’t quite make it to the work bench, landing a few inches away on the floor.

Sans shrugs, copying down one of Red’s calculations into his own book. “our machines are a little different, so i’m still sorting out the relevant parts.”

Red makes an approving sound in the back of his throat, but offers no further comment. He sinks back into the chair, a hand draped over his face. He looks like he’s about to fall asleep, but the sound of a buzzing phone causes him to stir. He pulls it out of his pocket, a smile spreading across his face as he stares at the screen. He quickly taps out a response before pocketing it again. Red usually tries to it hide when he texts you, but he either doesn’t know Sans is watching or doesn’t care. 

Sans feels a twinge in his soul and quickly averts his eyes back to the page in front of him. He shouldn’t care about what you do or who you decide to text. He didn’t when you were friends, or even when you two were together. There’s no use caring now, especially two years after the fact.

He shakes the thought, instead focusing on a particular diagram of the machine in Red’s universe. He has to turn the page a few different ways before he can make sense of the orientation, but once he figured it out, he begins comparing it to his own. The design of Red’s machine is slightly different. It looks to be military grade, more in the shape of a missile than his refrigerator-looking one. Unlike in his universe, where the machine was more of an experimental project by the former royal scientist, Red’s was part of a weapons development program in anticipation of the second war of humans and monsters. One similarity still remains though; both scientific programs were lost when the accident happened, leaving only their fragmented memories and the machine behind. Red hasn’t said much about it, but if his own experience is anything to go by, it wasn’t pretty. His thoughts are interrupted by the sound of a buzzing phone followed by Red’s soft chuckles. He asks the question before he can stop himself.

“how’s she doing?” He has to cough, his voice coming out rough and uneven.

“huh? oh… uh she’s doin’ ok.” He can tell Red is trying to spare his feelings, but the vagueness with which he answers says enough. You want nothing to do with him.

It’s been a week since the two of you had your… talk. He hasn’t heard from you since, but after the way you left things, he can’t say he isn’t surprised. He’s been throwing himself in his work to try and keep his mind off it, but he can’t get your voice out of his head, the way you looked at him when you found out. All he wants is to talk to you and make it better, but he knows that’ll only make things worse. Stars, if there was anything he could–

“sans?” 

“yeah?”

Red isn’t looking at him, his eyes still locked on the ceiling. He nervously fidgets with his hands in his lap, the bones scraping and popping when he cracks his knuckles. “what happens when we fix this?”

“you go home, i guess.” 

Red lets out a short bark of laughter, but there’s no humor behind it. “some home…”

“your timeline needs you.” It’s barely comforting, but it’s all he has. Part of him gets it. He’s had his fair share of resets underground, but every day he thanks the stars that Frisk hasn’t pulled his surface life away from him. He doesn’t know what he’d do in Red’s position, having seen the sun and the stars only to have it all ripped away when he gets sent back to his own timeline. “if my theory is correct,” he continues, scribbling a clarification in the margins of his notebook, “you’ll get your own human in your universe.” 

“yeah…”

He doesn’t say it, but Red knows. As similar as their timelines are, they aren’t identical. There’s still the possibility that their version of Frisk doesn’t free them.

The two of them sit in silence for a while, the hum of the fluorescent lights, the scribbling of Sans’s pencil, and Boss’s heavy footsteps the only sounds they hear. Red hasn’t exactly been very forthcoming with many details about his timeline, but if the nicks and fractures on his bones are anything to go by, Sans can’t blame him. Red’s dark expression any time the Underground is brought up is enough to tell him it wasn’t good. He knows why Red might not want to go back, but no matter what life was like for them down there, they can’t stay here forever. They don’t belong here.

Red clears his throat. “i’ve been thinkin’…”

“that’s dangerous.” 

Red snorts a little, but doesn’t acknowledge the joke past that. After another moment of silence, he sighs. “i can’t keep sayin’ i’m your cousin.” 

Sans feels his soul stop in his chest. It’s only momentary though and he recovers quickly, going back to copying another equation. “yeah? and what are you planning on saying instead?”

Red shrugs, lazily spinning his chair around with his magic. “the truth.”

“you think people will actually believe you?”

Red opens his mouth to speak, but slowly closes it again. He closes his eyes and lets his magic go, the spinning chair slowly coming to a stop.

That’s all Sans needs to figure out what Red really meant. He doesn’t want to tell people, he wants to tell _you_. He grips the pencil so tightly in his hand that the wood cracks under the strength of his fingers.

“why?” Despite it being a question, Sans leaves no room for debate. It demands an answer and Red has no choice but to oblige.

“no offense, pal, but i’ve seen what happens when ya keep stuff from the people you care about. i’m not lookin’ ta make that mistake again.”

Despite the use of the word “again,” they both know he’s not talking about himself. Only one of them made that mistake. Only one of them is paying for it. He knows he fucked up. No matter what he does, he _can’t_ forget how badly he fucked up. But hearing Red say it, knowing he’s learning from his mistake, knowing he’s the one to benefit…

Sans releases a few controlled breaths, but it does nothing to calm the magic boiling in his bones. This isn’t Red’s universe. You aren’t Red’s soulmate. You were his to have and his to lose. Red isn’t supposed to be here. He’s not supposed to win you over.

He’s supposed to be the only Sans.

 

You weren’t supposed to fall for another version of him.

 

**He’s supposed to be the better Sans.**

As soon as the thought crosses his mind, he wishes it hadn’t. Red can’t control the circumstances in his universe. He didn’t decide to show up here. The whole thing was a fluke, a pair of crossed wires and the pulling of a single lever. None of this is anyone’s fault. It’s not Red’s fault he started talking to you in Grillby’s that night. It’s not your fault it dug up all of the stuff from the past that he’s tried so hard to keep buried. It’s an accident. A mess, but an accident all the same.

 

“ok.”

 

The room falls silent again, only this time, there’s no pencil scribbling or footsteps to distract him. Just the soft buzzing of the lights that is nowhere near loud enough to drown out the deafening beating of his soul in his chest.

“jus’ like that?”

Sans doesn’t respond, going back to his notes. The pencil shakes in his hand as he pretends to copy numbers and figures. After another moment of silence, Red nods, lifting himself out of the chair.

“ok.”

For a brief moment, Sans wishes Red would tell you, only to have it blow up in his face. He wishes you’d scream at him to go away and never come back. It’s only for a moment, though. He goes back to his notebook, flipping until he comes across the machine diagram again.

“where did you say that useless panel was again?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took so long to get posted. I took a week off because of opera but I'm back now! Thank goodness my University is closed due to weather otherwise this chapter would've taken a few more days.
> 
> The previous chapter was meant to make Sans a little more sympathetic but I don't think I did that very successfully. He's just confused about his emotions and it doesn't help that he has no idea what he wants. He likes the idea of a relationship with her, but the actual responsibilities and expectations of being a boyfriend were too much for him. I know it might be a little confusing here because he doesn't want to be with her like that, but he also doesn't want Red to be either. I mean we all have moments where we think about what might have happened if we did things differently. For Sans to see this in real life in front of him is just a lot. If she had just gotten together with some other guy, there are a lot of ways Sans could've justified it to himself. "Oh he's not like me" or "he has x, y, and z and I don't." But when it's another version of him, it's tough because while they're different people, that actually could've been him. Does that make sense?
> 
> Anyway, I love hearing from all of you so feel free to leave comments! I'm always trying to improve my writing so criticisms are welcome too. I can't get better if I don't know what to work on so don't be shy! Also, if you have any ideas of what you might want to see next, let me know! I'm hitting the point where I have some end game ideas, but nothing to go in-between. I hope you enjoyed this chapter! <3


	9. A Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Red tells you the truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember when this was updated weekly? Hah... yeah... My cat died back in February so I took a few weeks off to mourn and it was just so hard to get back into the swing of things after that. Then school was just very consuming and this became less of a priority. But now that the semester is ending, I hope to go back to updating more frequently. I do have plans to finish this fic and I am determined to do so, no matter how long it takes. If you've stuck with me, a big thanks to you! If not, it's cool. No hard feelings there! Anyway, here it is! I hope you enjoy it!

Someone knocks ‘shave and a handshake’ on your apartment door. 

“Who’s there?” you sing, a playful smile tugging at your lips.

“al.”

You giggle. “Al who?”

“al give you a kiss if you open the door.”

How can you resist an offer like that? You open the door to see Red leaning casually against the wall.

“heya, sweetheart.” He pulls a lollipop out of his mouth and pretends to blow smoke out of it like a cigarette. “come here often?”

You roll your eyes, but you do little to hide the smile quickly spreading across your face. “Won’t that spoil your appetite?”

“doll, my appetite can’t be spoiled. especially not when I brought  _ these _ babies.” He pulls out a brown paper bag from behind his back, patting its contents affectionately.

“Ooh! What is it?” You try to grab it, but he holds it just out of reach.

“it’s a surprise for later.” He tucks the bag into his jacket with a wink.

“A good surprise?”

“you’ll hafta be the judge of that.”

You eye him skeptically but decide not to push it. Whatever it is, you’ll find out soon enough. You grab your coat from the rack.

“Didn’t you say you’d give me a kiss?”

He grins, his gold tooth sparkling in its strangely enchanting way. “we’re being a little greedy, aren’t we?”

“Hey!” you pout. “You said you would if I opened the door! We had a verbal agreement!”

“an’ i’m a man of my word!” he chuckles. “you’ll get it eventually.”

There’s a lot he could mean by that and you can only hope none of it is prank-related. You fix him your best glare, but a single wink from him undoes it completely. You give up, settling on locking up your apartment.

“So!” you say, finishing up and turning to face him. “What exactly are we doing tonight?”

“we’re goin’ out.”

You had figured as much.

“You don’t want to be a little more specific?”

“nope.”

You frown. “What if the anticipation kills me?”

“then you’d die,” he shrugs.

“My death would be on your hands.”

“i guess it would.”

“Red!” you whine.

“what is it, sweetheart?”

Despite his attempts at being aloof, you can see a hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. Still, he refuses to budge. Something tells you that you’ll only find out on his terms. 

“Fine! Don’t tell me!” you huff, crossing your arms.

“funny you should say that, ‘cause that’s jus’ what i was plannin’ on doin’!”

You just can’t seem to win with this guy! He seems to revel in your frustrations, his smile growing wider by the minute. Finally, he shakes his head, chuckling softly to himself. You feel yourself soften immediately. You can’t even  _ pretend _ to be annoyed with him when he does that.

He seems to notice you staring and his cheekbones start to emit a soft red glow. He coughs and scratches the back of his neck with his hand, looking away. It’s strange—you can really see the resemblance he has to Sans when he does that. The observation sits uncomfortably and you shake it off.

“w-well i’d love ta leave ya hangin’ a while longer, but we’ve gotta get goin’.” 

You can’t be sure, but he seems a little anxious. It’s such a contrast to his usual attitude that you’re almost taken aback. Brushing it off, you go to take his outstretched hand. Just are you’re about to touch his fingers, he pulls away.

“ya gotta close your eyes first. it won’t work if ya don’t.” 

You narrow your eyes at him, but he only shrugs. “i don’t make the rules, sweetheart.”

“You’re making the rules right now!”

He doesn’t say anything, only looking at you expectantly. You sigh, closing your eyes.

“alright.” His rough voice is soft and low. You feel yourself shiver. Suddenly, you feel him take your hand. “i need ya to count to 10. when you’re done, you can open your eyes.”

You nod, but you don’t feel entirely at ease.

1

2

You feel an arm slip around your waste and you involuntarily flinch. “S-sorry! I wasn’t expecting-”

He shushes you, his voice right by your ear. “jus’ relax, sweetheart. i’ve got ya.” He gives your hand an extra squeeze.

3

4

You feel a strange vibration coursing through your body.

5

6

“just stay relaxed,” he says, but it seems like it’s more for him than you.

7

8

You hear him release a deep breath. “now, whatever you do, don’t let go.”

9

10.

It feels like you’re being pushed through a small tube, almost as if the entire world has compressed around you. All at once, you feel the floor disappear from under your feet. You begin to panic, but Red pulls you closer to him. You find yourself clinging desperately to his jacket, your head buried deep in his shoulder. Suddenly, everything goes cold and the familiar feeling of a shortcut takes over.

* * *

It’s different shortcutting when he’s nervous. It takes him longer to get his magic under control, longer to fine tune the location. When he feels his feet connect with the ground again, he relaxes a little. He opens his eyes, surveying the area.

* _ fuck. _

He undershot it. Not by a lot — he can see where he meant to land up ahead — but it’s far enough that you’ll have to do a bit of walking to get there. He sighs, trying to force himself to relax.

* _ it’s just a little hitch. not a game-changer or anything. _

He’s sure it’s true, but somehow, he doesn’t believe it. 

_ *what the hell was i thinkin’? _

That it would be romantic, probably. But the whole thing feels so stupid now. Maybe he should just take you somewhere else. He could say he had to pick up something and then shortcut to some nice restaurant or something. It would be easy. All he has to do is-

He feels you shift in his arms, undoubtedly anxious to see his surprise.

_ *fuck. _

_ *well, there’s no goin’ back now... _

“you can open your eyes now.”

It’s hard to gauge your reaction in the dark like this; he can’t see your face. You seem to be looking around, just taking in your surroundings. After a tense silence, he coughs.

“the sky’s nice an’ clear here so you can see the stars really well... i thought maybe we could... uh... enjoy the great outdoors.” You’re being too quiet. Does that mean you don’t like it? “w-we can always go somewhere else. i mean if ya don’t- if it’s not your thing then...” He trails off, waiting for you to say something.

“How’d you find this place? It’s in the middle of nowhere.”

* _ stars... what the fuck is that supposed to mean? is that a good thing? _

“w-well ya know...” He fishes around for his next word, but he never really finds it.

Thankfully, you seem too absorbed in looking around to notice his awkwardness. “The sky is just so clear. It’s incredible!” You take a step away from him, your eyes fixed on the glittering constellations above you. “I mean I always knew that there were a lot of stars, but I didn’t think I’d be able to see so many of them just in the sky without a telescope or anything!”

It’s as if all of the tension leaves his body in a single breath. He smiles, settling back into his usual posture. 

* _ thank the fucking stars _

“yeah, ’s a pretty cool spot.”

You spin around to face him, a look of wonder on your face. “It’s amazing!”

* _ jackpot. _

He reaches out to grab your hand, leading you across the clearing. “c’mere. there’s a place up ahead where we can make a campfire. i brought some hotdogs n’ a few cats too so dinner’s on me.”

* * *

He can feel you lying next to him, the weight of your head resting on his arm. Your finger lazily traces circles on his jacket sleeve. You sigh. He stares at you for a moment, just drinking in your features. You seem different like this. Your contented smile reaches the corners of your eyes, making them crinkle at the sides. They almost look like they’re glittering in the soft light from the campfire. Slowly, you close them, burying your head in his jacket once more. 

He’s gonna miss this. The sky. The sun. The stars. The way you snort when you laugh. It’s cruel, getting to experience the world only to know that once it’s all said and done, he’ll have to go back. But right now, he doesn’t want to think about any of that, only the way the stars shine above him and the way you feel pressed up against his bones.

“Hey, Red?” He feels you turn your head to look at him. “Thank you. This is really nice.”

“sans.” He says it before he can stop himself.

“What?”

“my name’s not red, it’s sans.” He feels you sit up next to him, but he can’t bring himself to look at you. 

* _ there’s no goin’ back now. _

There’s a loud drumming in his ears. It takes him all to long to realize it’s the sound of his soul beating wildly against his ribcage. “an’ before you ask, we aren’t cousins either.”

“I don’t-”

The words start spilling out of his mouth before he has a chance to think about them. “do you know what an alternate universe is? i mean ya don’t have to know how it works or anythin’, just like the concept.”

You’re silent for a while. “I guess? But-”

“that’s where i’m from. my brother and i, we don’t belong here. the whole thing was one big fluke. i was workin’ on this machine and... look i don’t really know how to explain it, but i’m here an’ i couldn’t keep lyin’ to you about it.” 

As soon as he says it, he wishes he hadn’t.

* _ way to fuck up a perfectly good thing. _

It was bound to happen eventually. No matter how much he tries to get around it, he knows that much is true. He just didn’t think it’d be like  _ this _ . He thought maybe he’d have a plan when he told you. That he’d sit you down and draw it out for you or have some kind of explanation ready. But then you looked at him like that... You called him “Red” and he felt the smile in your voice and he knew he couldn’t do it anymore. He needed to hear you say his name —h is  _ real _ name, not the one this universe’s Sans gave him.

Your silence is unbearable. There are crickets chirping, the distant sounds of frogs, the wind rustling the leaves, the deafening sound of his soul threatening to crack his bones with each beat.

* _ just say something. anything. _

Part of him wants to hear your answer, but another part of him — a shittier part of him — wants to leave and never come back. It wants to quit before he ruins it. He feels his magic start to buzz, ready to pull him away in a quick shortcut. Running away has always been one of his stronger skills, but he can’t bring himself to do it now. Not this time.

He hears you take in a deep breath and slowly release the held air. He feels himself go completely cold.

“So, what does that mean?”

The question hangs suspended in the air, but he has no idea how to answer. You don’t push him and at that moment, he realizes that you don’t even know what you meant to ask. You try again.

“Who are you?”

“technically speakin’, i’m sans from another universe.”

You’re quiet for a while, absorbing the information. Then slowly, you shake your head. “I’m gonna be honest with you...”

The sound of those words makes his soul sink.

* _ here it comes. _

“I don’t know how to understand this.”

“what do ya mean?” He tries not to get his hopes up, but he can’t help himself.

You sit all the way up, staring at the hands folded in your lap. He watches you struggle to find the words. When you finally speak, you sound unsure, tentatively stringing the words together as if you’re discovering them as you say them. “I just don’t know what that means. I literally understand what you’re saying but... I  _ know _ Sans. How can you be him when...?” You trail off, turning to look at him for help.

“well i’m him but also not. don’t get me wrong, i’m not sayin’ we’re identical. hell, we’d probably get along way better than we do now if we were. i can’t fucking stand that guy sometimes...”

To his surprise, that earns him a snort of laughter.

“I’m sorry I just...” You shake your head, chuckling softly to yourself.  You look up at him, almost apologetically, and give a defeated shrug. “I have no idea what the hell is going on right now. I don’t even know how to think about any of this.”

That actually makes him laugh a little. “yeah, it’s kinda fucked up.”

“You think?” you giggle. He smiles at you and you return it affectionately.

Slowly, the sound of uncertain laughter fades and you find yourselves surrounded by silence one again. It isn’t as terrible as before though. There’s still a certain awkwardness to it, but it’s a little more comfortable.

“i mean, i’m the same guy i always was. ‘s just now you know my name and uh... where i’m from.” He starts to sub the back of his neck nervously but stops once he recognizes the habit. The other Sans does that too.

There’s another beat of silence.

“So, what now?”

He shrugs. “no fucking clue. i don’t think anyone’s done anything like this before...”

That earns him a soft giggle. “Yeah...” you agree. You tilt your head back to look at the stars, as if you’re searching them for the answer.

“well, what do ya wanna do?” He hates himself for asking, all too aware of what you might say. At this point though, there isn’t much else he can do. It’s the only thing left to say.

“I guess...” you trail off and sigh, looking over at him.

He braces himself for the inevitable. At least he can go out knowing he  _ tried _ to do the right thing. The truth is, he was fucked from the start.

* _ just like with everything else. _

The sound of your voice brings him back.

“I guess we’ll just have to figure it out as we go. I don’t know what else there is to do really...”

It takes him a moment to process what you said and even when he does, he’s still not sure he understands. Did he hear you right? Did you really just say what he thinks you said? Or...?

You place your hand on his own, giving it a good squeeze. “I still don’t know if I get it, but we’ll get through it. One day at a time.”

He wants to pull you into a hug, to kiss you right then and there, but he can’t bring himself to even move. You sit closer to him and he manages to slip a tentative arm around your waist. It still seems too good to be true. He’s not even sure he believes it. Then you rest your head on his shoulder and all of the tension seems to leave his body with one shaky breath. He gives you a tight squeeze and he can feel your smile into his chest in response. He shakes his head in disbelief, a grin spreading across his face. It might not be forever, but he almost doesn’t care. Just having this, even if it’s only for a little while, makes him the luckiest fucking guy in the world.


End file.
